


Marry Me?

by Igglepuff



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels as Novaks, Dream Violence, Gen, Growing Up, Homophobic Language, Kid Fic, M/M, Queer Gabriel, Weechesters, canon character death, kid!AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-01 05:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2761679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Igglepuff/pseuds/Igglepuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Honestly? They should have seen it coming, <i>he</i> should have seen it. Everything changes as you grow older, people come and go. Yet there has always been something consistent in his life. Gabriel Novak. How he had missed all of the signs thus far, Sam Winchester will never know.</p><p>-Or-<br/>5 times "Marry Me?" was said and the one time it was for real.</p><p>*Rating will change by the end*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You don’t know me yet, but I’m Gabriel and we’re gonna get married.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I started this a while ago and finally am able to post! Warnings will be applied as needed for the chapter. I will warn you now the rating will change to at least M if not Explict. 
> 
> Any who, enjoy!

  
[](http://tinypic.com?ref=155jwn4)   


The first time it happened, Gabriel was five. Drug out of bed past bed time, platypus slippers slipped onto his feet instead of his stuffy tennies, which would have made him grin had he not been trying desperately to not fall asleep where he was sitting at the kitchen table as his father gently threaded his arms into the forest green overcoat. Sleepy golden eyes blinked slowly as his mother rushed in, her beautiful dark hair cascading out of a hastily thrown up bun. In her arms Gabriel’s 3 year old brother slept, blissfully unaware of being manhandled around as Gabriel was ushered up and out of his chair and toward the garage. 

As his father picked him up and buckled him into the booster seat, Gabriel pulled his fuzzy blue blanket with the cute little cartoon moose on it up to drape around his chin. After letting out a fierce yawn, the boy’s small voice piped up, “Papa, what we doin’?” His father’s gold eyes crinkled at the sides as a gentle smile overtook his face. He didn’t answer immediately however, instead he opted to maneuver Castiel into his carseat and swing around to the other side of the black SUV to climb into the driver’s seat. “Momma?” The five year old frowned deeply as his question was met with silence. That is, as deeply as he could as another yawn was pulled from his lips. _“Momma.”_

Tessa laughed quietly at her son’s insistence as they pulled away from the house and out onto the long winding, empty road toward the small hospital just on the outskirts of Lawrence. “Just sit back and go to sleep Gabriel. We will wake you once we get there.” Gabriel huffed angrily and folded pudgy arms over his chest, still under the soft folds of his blanket of course. Sure, he wanted to defy them. It was his job after all. As the oldest Novak child, it was his duty to pester and challenge the parents. His 5 year old body however, didn’t agree. 

Blanket pulled up to his nose the flaxen haired child let out a long puff of air as he slowly started to drift off to sleep once again. From the front seat Tessa looked back at her two babies with a soft smile on her lips, eyes shining like warm spring rain. “They’re going to be so excited, Michael.” She stated quietly, turning back around to look out over the road, eyes briefly falling on her husband’s face. He smiled lightly and nodded once in agreement as a comfortable silence fell over the vehicle. On the dash, the little green lights were glowing 2:15 AM. 

At 3 AM the Novak’s car pulled into the hospital parking garage and the two adults were quickly maneuvering their children out and into their arms. Bags, blankets, and in Gabriel’s case, a large stuffed platypus that matched his slippers, all in tow. Before the boys had even an ounce of awareness of where they were, the family was at the elevator to head up to the main floors. “Wanna do it.” Gabriel mumbled quietly from where his face was pressed into his father’s loose jacket, his tiny arm reaching out toward the button. Michael huffed out a quick laugh and leaned over far enough so his son’s hand pressed against the already red lit circle. Gabriel didn’t notice that however, he merely felt the plastic under his fingertips and smiled indulgently into the shoulder before his eyes slipped shut again. 

_Cold_. That was the first thought that made it into Gabriel’s mind. Reaching around himself he squirmed to find his blankets to cocoon himself up in yet again. Little hands found it, as well as downy soft strands. Cracking his eyes open the boy narrowed his eyes as he saw his baby brother, wrapped up in _his_ moose blanket. Rolling over onto his belly Gabe reached out with both hands and gripped the edge of one soft corner and tugged hard. Castiel let out a quiet yelp as both fell off the couch they had been sleeping on. The blond boy’s lip trembled slightly as pain shot through his little body but he was too old to cry. Instead he gently leaned over and pulled Castiel up and into his lap, shushing the dark haired child with light pats to his back and downy hair. Cries tapered off to quiet snuffles as Gabriel finally looked around at his surroundings.

It looked like the place where they had gotten Castiel. Gabriel’s eyes flew open as a horrible thought flew through his mind. _What if they were taking him back?_ Sure the baby was annoying, and cried too much, and took his blankies and his bed when it was storming, but he’s still _his_ brother. Gabriel didn’t want his parents to give Castiel back! Looking around, he caught sight of their momma standing by a brightly lit door with a man who looked shorter than Papa but was still scary to look at. 

Setting Castiel back down on the floor, his little body draped over Gabriel’s stuffed platypus, the older boy rose to his feet unsteadily and padded his way over, blanket draped around his shoulders . “No, momma. You can’t give Castel back.” He said dramatically as he reached the two. The man smiled, bright enough to reach forest green eyes. Tessa tipped her head back and laughed lightly before stooping to pick her son up. Nuzzling his chubby pink cheek she smiled before replying in a teasing voice.

“Honey, no, no. We aren’t here to give Castiel back. We would never take either of you back.” Gabriel visibly relaxed at that conformation and he let himself be snuggled, eyes training wearily on the man in front of him. His mother didn’t seem spooked at all by him though, and that confused Gabriel. The man reached out a hand and ruffled the soft locks curling over Gabriel’s ear and when he smiled the sides of his eyes crinkled in happiness, so Gabriel figured he couldn’t really be a bad man. “We’re here to welcome Dean’s baby brother into the world.” Tessa said gently, pulling her sons attention back to herself and away from John. 

Instantly Gabriel’s head snapped up, his whiskey eyes bright and glowing as he gasped out, “Sammy’s here?” His excitement bled through and he started wiggling in his mother’s grasp in order to get to the ground; content with the idea of going off to find his new small friend on his own. The grownups laughed at his enthusiasm before Michael came up beside them, small bag of Fritos in one hand and took his son’s hand in the other. Gabriel beamed up at him instantly, “Papa! Sammy’s h-“

With a radiant smile, Michael cut his son off with a pat to his head. “Not yet buddy. It should be soon though.” Gabriel looked at the floor crestfallen. He had been waiting for so long to meet his new playmate, he should just get there already. The small boy voiced this opinion but before any of the adults could speak the double doors flew open and a thin boy just a year younger than Gabriel himself burst in. His bright green eyes were wide and sparkling, dirty blonde hair flying in every direction as he ran over to where the group was congregated. 

“Sammy!” Was all the boy, Dean, yelled before grabbing John’s hand and all but pulling his father toward the doors he had just burst through. Gabriel started laughing giddily as he trailed after, his own parents following, Tessa pausing to pick up Castiel in the process. Down the hall, Gabriel caught up with the Winchesters after passing only a few doors. Dean turned his bright gaze to him in an instant. “Finally here Gabe! He’s here and sleepy and pudgy and here!” 

The doctor who joined them on the trek through white halls laughed easily at the boys before turning to speak with John. Neither child listened, instead, they merely dashed on. They stopped only as they reached the nondescript wooden door, the silver plate along the top held a white slip of paper bearing the name ‘Winchester’. Beside the black lettering was an elegant handwritten ‘boy’, it was that which Dean pointed at as he turned to Gabriel and said smugly, “That means Sammy is here.” Gabriel frowned slightly but remained silent as he grabbed the door handle and tried to pull it open to no avail. The bright smile fell as his tiny hands slid down from the metal.

“Mary is getting a checkup right now boys.’ The calm voice stated behind them. Green and gold eyes turned at once to the tall, thin man in the blue outfit and white coat, his thin smile was one that Gabriel didn’t know whether to trust or not. Fortunately, the older Novak child didn’t have time to blurt out this observation because at that moment his father swooped in and scooped him up at the same time that Dean was abducted by his own father. The thin doctor, at least Gabriel guessed he was the doctor-- and not some random man-- he had that ‘misery is my entertainment’ vibe about him after all, was speaking again as they continued down the quiet hall. Both families followed silently, “However, We can take you to see Samuel in the NICU.” 

“NICU?” Gabriel blurted from his place on his father’s hip. No one seemed to listen to him however, and instead continued until they reached a giant long window. The blond would have been more upset at being brushed off had it not been for the simple fact that his eyes were now sweeping over the rows of tiny babies in tiny beds with their tiny blankets and tiny hats. Gabriel let out an unnoticed coo of happiness. He loved babies. He just would never admit to that little fact. Nor would he admit to cooing at Castiel when his small brother was brought home for the first time, or how he would just sit there running his small hands over the dark downy hair covering his brothers head while the baby slept. 

Soon, however, a low growl of frustration erupted from the small boy as his eyes swept constantly over each baby in turn. They were all cute, but which was Sammy? Which cute baby was his cute baby friend? “Which one is he?” Gabriel demanded finally, twisting in his father’s grasp in order to look at the adults at large. It was Dean who gave him an answer though, his small hands pressed against the glass window as he pointed to a small baby wrapped in a blue blanket at the end of the row farthest from the window. 

“There!” Dean squeaked out excitedly. “He’s on the end.” The boy’s grin grew wider when the doctor opened the NICU door. He squirmed out of John’s arms to slide to the floor and run at the opening, only to be stopped abruptly by a nurse who had stepped up as the doctor entered. Dean’s hands flew to his hips instantly. “’Scuse me miss, I gotta go see Sammy.” The blonde haired nurse laughed quietly and ruffled Dean’s hair before turning to the gathered adults and spoke in a soft voice.

“Mary’s done speaking with Dr. Lucinda.” The curt words were met with happy squeals from both boys and she continued with a gentle smile, “Adam will bring Sammy along soon enough.” She directed that comment to both blond boys, picking up on their impatience almost instantly. Taking Dean’s hand, she led the group back down the hall. She listened patiently as Dean rambled on and on about how excited he was to finally have Sammy there. Every now and then, Gabriel poked his head forward and boasted about how he and Sam were going to be best friends, and pick on their brothers together and stay together forever.

Michael chuckled as he listened to his son gush about the newborn he hadn’t technically even met yet. When they entered the hospital room with the little paper tag reading ‘Winchester’ about 5 minutes later, the eldest Novak child was speaking in an exaggerated whisper to the blonde nurse whose hand he now clung to opposite Dean. “When we get older, we’re gonna get married, too.” His quickly nodding head was countered by Dean sticking out his tongue and complaining about Gabe being gross. The blond in question pulled his moose blanket up around his ears and continued boastfully, “We’re gonna get married and live together with Dean and Cassie, but we’re not gonna be married to them ‘cause that’s gross.”

“Is that so?” Mary laughed from the bed along the far wall, speaking before her husband could say anything as she saw him open his mouth, brows drawn together with a frown. Her hair was mussed and she looked exhausted but she was smiling none the less. “Well how about you meet your future husband first?” She suggested with a gentle nudge to the blanket that Gabriel just noticed she was holding, while shooting John a pointed stare. Instantly Gabriel’s face lit up and he dropped the nurse’s hand with a soft gasp and rushed at the bed, blanket fluttering around his shoulders and Dean hot on his heels. They had scrambled up on the white cotton bed before any of the other adults could protest.

Tessa’s voice was the first to break through the ecstatic atmosphere, “Easy boys.” Both boys backed off ever so slightly, but they were still hovering over the bundle in Mary’s arms. Dean grinned brightly and threw small arms around his mother’s neck, telling her over and over how happy he was and how pretty Sammy was. Mary was positively beaming at her elder son’s praise as she turned to his temple and pressed a loving kiss to dirty blond hair.

Gabriel, however, was enraptured with the way Sam’s dark eyelashes fluttered over soft pale cheeks, brown fluff littered across the baby’s forehead. The newborn was sleeping, of course, but this didn’t seem to bother the Novak boy as he leaned over and pressed small lips to an even smaller head. The soft hair tickled his nose slightly but it only caused Gabriel to smile wider and breathe in deeply. The clean and new and _innocent_ smell made Gabe close his eyes for a long moment before he lift his head he nodded once before saying with finality, “Yep. We’re gonna be married.” He looked down at the baby again and smiled softly, resting his hands on the little bundle. 

“Would you like to hold him?” Mary asked Gabriel gently, resting a hand on Dean’s head when the other started to protest. Soft promises that he’d be able to hold Sam as much as he wanted later on when he wasn’t falling asleep on his mother’s side. He got to hold Sammy first, before Dean! Gabriel squeaked quietly as he nodded, golden curls flying around his head. His voice filled the room with a mantra of ‘of course of course!’ He let his father maneuver him over to one of the fluffy arm chairs in the corner and told him to hold still and stay seated as John moved over with Sam in his arms. Gabriel’s grin was radiating happiness as the blue bundle was lowered to his arms. 

Wrapping short arms around the baby’s body, Gabriel grinned down at the sleeping form before leaning over and softly nuzzling his nose against Sam’s. It was at that touch that Sam’s eyes slowly blinked open, the pretty hazel shining just under the baby blue. “Hiya Sammy.” He whispered quietly down at the blinking eyes that didn’t understand a word he was saying, eyes probably not really seeing him in focus anyway. Yet Gabriel still smiled in gentle fondness as a small pudgy hand slipped out of the blanket and moved against his arm before he slowly pulled the soft blue cotton back over Sam’s hand, covering it so he wouldn’t get cold. Pressing another tiny kiss to the tip of Sam’s nose, baby blues blinking slowly as golden blond filled the small range of vision for a moment, Gabriel whispered sweetly, “You don’t know me yet, but I’m Gabriel and we’re gonna get married.”

A soft sound bubbles from parted baby Winchester lips and Gabriel full out grinned as he pulled the moose blanket around Sam as well. “You agree Sammy? You wanna marry me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art for this fic will be posted on my tumblr here: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/inspirationmeltdown 
> 
> There's already a few pieces there for future chapters. All are tagged 'Marry me'


	2. Maybe the angels want us to get married, Gabe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second time it happens, Sam is five. He doesn't understand what death means, and Gabriel doesn't know how to explain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was going to wait for the art to be done but eh, might as well get this up. Happy Holidays and enjoy!
> 
> Also I may have a time-stamp present on Christmas that falls between these two chapters if anyone is interested.

The second time it happened, Sam was five and he didn’t understand. He didn’t understand why he was stuck here. Didn’t understand why people kept hugging him, why they were crying and why Dean and Castiel left the room, Dean’s face red and tear streaked. The small boy picked at his itchy sweater vest hugging his lanky frame uncomfortably. The straight legged, black trousers stiff as they draped over the overly shiny black shoes, hazel eyes reflected back up at Sam. He didn’t want to be here anymore. He didn’t want to listen to people talking about his Momma anymore. 

She is gone. Why do they keep bringing her up and hurting themselves more? The dull burn behind Sam’s eyes made the boy bow his head and push back deeper into the funny smelling plush chair. He just wanted to go home. He didn’t want his Momma, who would let him lick the cookie batter offa the spoon, or eat the last piece of pie when Dean wasn’t looking, to be gone forever. If they weren’t here, then it wouldn’t be happening. That’s how it went in the movies his Dad and Dean watch… right? No one was ever really gone, _right?_

A shaky breath was let out in front of him as bright orange canvas shoes intercepted his view of the dingy floor. The sound was wrong to Sam’s ears. To loud in the mostly quiet room he had holed up in to escape everyone’s unwanted apologies. He knew who those shoes belonged to like the back of his hand, and that sound was just too soft for the owners usual brash disposition. Sam told him just that, it was wrong and weird and wrong. 

A humorous laugh that sounded more like air merely being expelled from his chest. “How are you, Kiddo?” Gabriel’s speaking voice was just as wrong as the forced out breath Sam noted as the eldest Novak child sat on the floor in front of the overstuffed chair. He held out the stuffed platypus he had been cradling to his chest to Gabriel. It was meant as a comforting gesture, one that was second nature to him now when the older boy asked him that. A wavering smile graced his pale face as he accepted the plush and Sam decided he didn’t want to see that sadness, or the unconfident smile anymore. He didn’t want to see it ever again if he could help it. He wanted Gabriel, his Gabe, to stay happy. “Hey, Kiddo… I uh- don’t know how much of this you actually understand…” Gabriel was speaking again, but Sam couldn’t focus anymore. 

“Momma’s gone.” Was all he said, cutting the blond off mid sentence. Gold eyes meeting hazel neither really seeing, but both seeing much more than they ever had. Slowly Sam lowered his eyes back to his lap, hands clasped together almost painfully. There was something shining in the golden pools of his friends eyes that caused the burn to resume and Sam couldn’t cry. Not in front of Gabriel. Not in front of his oldest and best friend, that would only show how much of a baby he still was. “Dean said… Dean said Dad told him she isn’t coming back.” And his voice broke. And then there were tears, and he couldn’t stop. So he just let it happen, he didn’t want to be here, not anymore. He wanted to go home. To make cookies, and laugh and play. He didn’t want to sit here in sadness and cry in front of Gabe. He wanted to just go home. "Momma left us."

The feel of soft synthetic fur was pressed back into his arms and Sam ran his hand along the soft purple fluff. Then Gabriel wasn’t just watching passively from the floor anymore, he was up and standing at Sam’s shoulder anxiously in a heartbeat as the first tears hit the too shiny black shoes. His feet were shifting to loud in the room filled only with the sands of the Winchester’s tears. “No Ki- Sammy… don’t cry…” Gabriel whispered gently, his voice ghosting to Sam’s ear as warm arms in a scratchy sweater enveloped his body. “Don’t cry. You're Momma's still watching over you, kiddo. Don't cry anymore.”

The armrest barely moved as Gabriel perched there, arms never leaving their place on the crying boys shoulders. It was comforting, to say the least, and he didn’t have the overbearingly strong urge to shove the blond Novak away like he had done to the others who had tried to comfort him like this. Soft humming reached his ears as Sam pressed his face against Gabriel’s shoulder. “I want to go home.” He whispered quietly, eyes dropping to the odd beige cotton of Gabriel’s sweater. The older boy pressed his cheek to Sam’s hair and murmured his soft agreement at the statement. Gabriel didn’t want to hear the pain in his friend’s voice or see it written on his face with tears anymore than Sam wanted to see it on Gabe. 

“Soon, Sammy, soon.” Gabriel murmured against his hair, his own golden eyes trained on the maroon running carpet down the center of the small room. His voice was small as he continued, “It’s almost done. I promise.” And Sam whimpered slightly before he merely nodded. It hurt. The ten year old would be the first to admit as much. It hurt to hear his small friend crying so desperately into his stupid vest. They stayed like that, unmoving, for the better part of ten minutes before Gabriel heard the sound of a door being slowly shut. Then measured foot steps made their way toward the room the couple was holed up in. 

It was another minute before a soft and gentle voice said through the sliding door that separated them from the hall, “Sammy?” It was feather soft in tone and Gabriel irrationally felt irritation flair in his chest that he was instantly ashamed of. Jo was a family friend, she was clearly just as worried about Sam as much as he himself was. 

At the sound Sam’s head sprung up, brown hair tickling Gabriel’s nose in the process. “We’re in here.” The blond Novack called, eyes meeting Sams’ and holding his gaze, hazel irises silently thanking his friend. Whiskey eyes were the first to break contact as Jo entered the stifling room. Reluctantly Gabriel slowly loosened his hold on the smallest boy’s shoulders and finally let go, gaze lifting to the blonde who had just entered. The seven year old watched Gabriel stand up from the chair arm with hawk like eyes. The blue clearly judging Gabriel’s movements, the whiskey held strong as Jo moved to envelope Sam in a hug. 

It was no secret that Jo disliked the eccentric ten year old. Her papa had always told her to watch out for people like him. Too bright, too happy and playful, always wanting to play house instead of ball. Her papa didn’t like how Gabriel would rather wear a skirt then pants, she wasn’t allowed to like the oldest Novak, so she didn’t. Even if that did upset her mamma. “How are ya?” She asked with a soft twang finally, breaking the tension from between the two that Sam didn’t seem to notice. 

With a sigh Sam stood and wrapped his arms around the girl. “’M fine Jo.” He said softly as he buried his face in her dark blue velvet dress. It was soft like the shirts Momma would always wear and Sam felt the burn of more tears as his hands bunched up in the bow behind Jo’s back. Long arms wound around his body in a hug that almost felt alright but was off, just slightly. It didn’t feel as welcoming as he wanted in that moment but the small child held on to his friend as she whispered soothing words into his shaggy hair anyway.  
It felt like forever as they stood there, just wrapped around each other before an uncomfortable shifting seemed to break the air around Sam. Pulling his eyebrows together Sam gently pulled away from the light blonde haired girl and grimaced. His eyes landed on Gabriel, who looked uncomfortable as he stood a ways behind the two, doing his best impression of a bug, making himself seem as impossibly small as he could. “Are they done yet?” He asked Jo finally, his eyes never leaving the stiff backed honey blond. Gabriel probably wanted to leave just as much as he did. 

Jo held him with gentle hands on his shoulders and smiled sadly, “That’s why I came ta find ya.” She murmured, “Mama told me ta come say goodbye before we leave. Wanted ta make sure ya were okay.” He nodded as he reached up and wiped his nose on his overly stiff white shirt. Blue eyes softened as she leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead and a softly whispered ‘have Dean call if ya two ever need anything.’ Sam’s heart ached, his eyes still burning but he nodded again and again.

As she straightened up Sam said the first thing his mind could focus on, “Don’t worry Jo, I have Gabe if I need anything.” The air instantly froze around them all, crackling with an unseen electricity that Sam didn’t seem to understand as Jo and Gabriel locked eyes in a battle of will. Under the scrutiny Gabriel shuffled his feet as the taller female’s gaze turned subzero, her lips forming a thin line. Her heels snapped together and her posture became rigid as she pulled herself up to full height, a good two inches above the ten year old. 

“Take care of yaself Sammy.” Jo said, her tone clipped as she refused to look away from the other. She left with measured steps and Sam tipped his head sideways in confusion. Why was Jo acting like that? She was never this… unlovable, that was the only word that Sam could conjure to describe the tall blonde’s actions toward Gabriel. Even as he watched her leave she paused beside Gabriel and, without even looking to the side at him said in a venomous tone that Sam could just faintly hear, “Ya leave him alone, ya hear. He don’t need a nellie like ya around.”

Sam didn’t know what that meant, but Gabriel stiffened and his hands seemed to shake slightly and Sam didn’t like that. Why would she say that? He liked Gabe, he was his best friend, of course he needed him around. Sam barely registered the door slipping shut with a soft sound of the wooden door hitting the frame, because in that second Gabriel had his face angled to the ground and his shoulders were shaking. Sam knew what that meant, and he was instantly scrambling to pick up the stuffed platypus where it had been forgotten on the floor and scrambling over to Gabriel. 

As the toy was shoved at the taller boys hands Gabriel let out a broken sound and sunk to the ground, pulling the purple toy to his chest. “Gabriel? Gabe what’s wrong? Please don’t cry Gabe!” Sam cried in desperation, falling to his knees in front of his friend. There was no reply, just Gabriel leaning over and wrapping his arms around Sam’s tiny body and pulling him into a tight hug. His broken cries being muffled by Sam’s shirt collar as he pressed his face to the crook of the smaller Winchester’s neck. Sam’s eyes were glued to the door as he gently ran his hands over his friend’s back the way his Momma used to do to him when he was upset. In a way it comforted Sam to do the action, it made him feel closer to his Momma. 

“Gabri-”

“It’s nothing Sammy.” Gabriel whispered finally, cutting Sam’s question off before he could get it out. A sniffle was heard before Gabriel sat up, his hands slipping down to rest on Sam’s arms and he gave a watery, sad smile. “Don’t worry about me. This is about making sure you’re okay.” The small boy was going to protest but Gabriel just leaned over and pressed his lips to his forehead and rose to his feet in one fluid motion. Sam frowned up at his blond friend before taking the hand that was offered out to him. The silence stretched between them for a long time as they stood there, Gabriel pointedly looking away from Sam.

“Can I go home now?” Sam asked finally, breaking the uneasy silence, and Gabriel nodded before he gave a gentle affirmative and turned toward the door. Before he could open it however Sam’s hand darted out and grabbed Gabriel’s sleeve, causing him to turn and look over at the disgruntled five year old with soft questioning eyes. “Will you stay at my house tonight?” The sigh that escaped Gabriel was the same as when he had first showed up, and Sam shuddered inside at the idea that he was still hurting. “Please?” He whispered lowly, eyes back on the dingy carpet, “Dean won’t be any fun… he hasn’t been very fun.” 

The timid hand that ran over his shaggy hair made Sam look up finally. Gabriel smiled his sad smile again and nodded. “Sure kiddo. We have to ask my Momma and Papa first, but it should be fine.” He bopped his pointer finger on Sam’s nose before continuing as he slid the door open, “We can stay in the treehouse.” The brown haired boy smiled up at him as the moved down the long hall to the creamy white doors that Sam knew the grownups were all standing in. After entering they found Tessa first, she was sitting in the back of the rows of ugly purple chairs, her long dark hair was pulled back in a low ponytail and her dark gold eyes were rimmed in red and Sam was devastated to realize that she had probably been crying as well. Instantly Sam ran to her and threw his tiny arms around her, Gabriel following a few steps behind. Tessa accepted the hug and murmured soft ‘it’s okay baby’s over and over again. 

When Sam pulled back he whispered, “I’m okay, promise.” Tessa smiled her warm smile at them both and Sam was happy to see it was still the same. As he said it he had pressed his tiny hands to her cheeks and tried to rub the tear stains away before he choked out, “Everything is gonna be okay.” She nodded and placed a long fingered hand over his and forced another smile before looking up at her eldest son as he hovered beside them. Gabriel shifted again on his feet in nervousness and Tessa opened her other arm up in invitation, her eldest looked instantly relieved as he darted to her side. 

With Gabriel and Gabriel’s momma’s arms around him Sam felt the tears fall freely from his eyes again as he realized that he won’t get this feeling from _his_ Momma and Dean again. Because his Momma was gone, and Dean won’t talk to him. “What is it you need, Sam dear?” Tessa’s question enveloped him with a love Sam would never want to live without, and he was sobbing out his request to go home, to stay like this, to never leave and leave all at the same time in a rush as the tears poured out stronger. 

His chest ached, his eyes hurt and he vaguely realized his nose was running, but he just kept his face buried in Tessa’s shirt. Somewhere to his left he heard the soft question of Gabe staying with him and Sam figured it must be Gabriel who had asked but he didn’t bother to try to help. It must have been a yes because about a half hour later Sam found himself in the backseat of the Impala, Gabriel beside him, his head propped up against the window. Under his hand the platypus rested comfortably between the two. Sam turned his head just slightly, enough to get a glimpse of the honey blond beside him. And Gabriel… Gabriel had his eyes trained on the floor.

Sam reached an arm out only to let it drop onto the edge of the carseat he was in as his friend shook his head without bothering to look up. “Gabe?” Sam whispered as softly as he could in the eerily quiet Impala, he knew his father was in the drivers seat, hands gripped to the wheel tightly, able to hear every word but refusing to acknowledge it. Gabriel shook his head again and merely pushed the platypus closer to the young boy. 

“Not now Sammy. Go back to sleep.” And Sam did as he was told, and maybe it was just the light but he could have sworn he saw a shine run down the pale face just as the soft squelch of the steering wheel leather being tightened hit his ears. 

_He was… cold and warm. A prickling in his toes that Sam couldn’t figure out why and a numbness in his fingertips that felt wrong. “Sam!” It was a scared scream one that made Sam’s insides freeze. It was familiar but still… wrong. It was too hoarse, too deep and just off in a way he couldn’t pin point. When he tried to open his eyes though, he couldn’t. Not that he couldn’t physically open them, but when he did, everything was wrong._

_Blood and fire and black smoke and Sam wanted to cry, he wanted to go home to his warm bed, to his dad and Dean and Gabe-- “No! Sammy, please no!” The screams grew louder and the smallest Winchester forced his eyes open and bright gold drowned in copper red filled his vision. Gabriel? He was older and he- had wings, big, bright, and beautiful wings but they were stretched out behind him in a way that looked almost painful. And Sam couldn’t look away, even as the blood dripped off of the brilliant feathers he couldn’t-- “Let him go Luci-- please let him go.”_

_He didn’t understand. Who was Luci? Let who go? Where was he, who is he, what was this place? He wanted to ask the man strung up, the one who looked so much like his Gabe but when he opened his mouth he couldn’t speak. It was as if someone else had taken control, of his voice and body. “He choose this brother. He is the one who said yes to me.” Sam felt his face twist into a grimaced smile. “Did you really think you could change that?”_

_This was wrong. A dream. It had to be a dream, his life wasn’t like this. He was only five! He was in the Impala driving home with dad and Gabe. But as he looked out through this older him’s eyes and the pain shining in his friend’s whiskey eyes that were so much closer now he couldn’t stop himself from trying to reach out. “Sammy…” But the light was gone, the amber wasn’t shining like normal anymore and there was a hot, sticky liquid seeping over his hand._

Sam jerked awake, his eyes flying open and a choked sob on his lips. His limbs were working before his mind caught up and he was scrambling out of his bed and backing against the wall, jaws clamped down on his fist as his wide hazel eyes darted around the room. A stirring in the sleeping bag beside the bed caught his gaze and he watched with frightened eyes as Gabriel slowly sat up. “Sammy?” His soft voice asked, as Gabriel rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “Sammy what’s the matter?” 

Without a second thought he dove at his friend, burying his face into the other’s chest. Confused hands came up to gently rub his back before asking in a tentative voice, “Are you alright Sam?” And Sam knew as soon as the nickname was dropped that his friend was being serious, that he was concerned about the young child. The Winchester nodded, his tears wiping off on Gabriel’s night shirt as he did so, but he didn’t speak. So Gabriel held him for a few minutes before dropping his hands to the boys arms. “Nightmare?” Another nod. “Your Momma or--” A jerky shake and Sam let out a long breath. 

“Can we go to the tree?” 

The clock in the hall showed 3 AM as the two snuck out the back sliding door into the back yard. Within a couple minutes both had pulled their sleeping bags up into the center of the little wooden tree house. Old wood creaked under them as Gabriel shut the door and sat on the unrolled bag Sam had set up. “You gonna tell me what’s wrong?” The older of the two asked quietly as he picked at the fuzzy platypus slippers he wore. Sam was silent as he laid his hands over his own matching pair he shook his head. 

No. The nightmare was already fading enough to not bother him, but as it dissipated other feelings came forward and he clutched his moose blanket closer. “I miss Momma.” He breathed, eyes starting to sting again. “Why did Momma leave me? Did she not love us anymore?” A weight on his shoulder told Sam that Gabriel had moved closer and a soft ‘shush shush’ enveloped him. 

“Of course she loved you.” Gabriel sat back and pulled his legs up to his chest, a frown forming on his face as he stared at the floor between them in concentration. “She loved you and Dean and your dad all very much. She just…” He trailed off to flop back on the sleeping bag and look up through the plexiglass roof to the sky above. “Heaven needed her I guess.” Sam slowly laid down as well and as he pulled the plush blanket up to his chin he held his hand out to Gabriel who took it instantly.

It was safe there. Laying on the old wood like they’ve been doing since the tree house had been finished last summer. It was safe and quiet and Sam felt the nagging in his mind as the silence ticked on. Finally he asked quietly, not taking his eyes off of the deep velvet only slightly obscured by the lightly frosted plastic, “What did Jo mean?” The shift in Gabriel’s shoulders told Sam he’d said something that the other boy was trying to avoid. 

“Her and her dad don’t like me very much.” Gabriel said finally, and he glanced over just as Sam turned to look at him with small eyebrows drawn together under shaggy brown hair. Quickly looking away Gabriel put the arm that wasn’t reached out toward Sam behind his head and propped up one leg. “I’m different, Sammy. I know that and they know that too. They don’t like it very much, but my Momma said nothing is wrong with me so I- I just don’t care what they have to say about it.” 

“But what did that word mean, Gabe? The one that made you sad.” And Sam rolled over onto his belly, letting Gabriel’s hand go in the process to prop his chin up on folded arms. “I don’t like you being sad.” Neither said anything for a while then Gabriel reached out and fluffed Sam’s bangs, the other playfully swatting him away with a small giggle. It was a cheap distraction, but one Gabriel needed as he thought over what he should tell the boy. 

How could he explain that he didn’t feel right in his own skin sometimes. How could he tell his small friend that when all the other boys in his class talked about how cute a girl was it felt wrong? That the names people call him were only a conformation that something was different about him? With a deep breath that he let out in a puffed sigh, “Means girly boy.” His voice shook when he said it, and his fingers bunched in the hair on the back of his neck. “It’s like calling me a sissy, that something is wrong with me.”  
“Nothing is wrong with you, Gabe!” Sam exclaimed, throwing his hands out in front of himself with a distraught look on his face as he looked over at the blond boy. Frowning Sam struggled to sit up before he grabbed one of Gabriel’s arms to pull him forward. “Momma always told Dean and I that angels were watchin’ over us. Well I think they’re watchin’ you too. They know what they’re doin’ Gabe.” Sam was breathing heavily once he got to the end, his small arms drooping by his sides. “You ‘member when your Momma and Papa took us to that weddin’?” 

Gabriel blinked slowly and nodded and whispered, “Yeah, and then she proceeded to tell that story of how I supposedly asked you to marry me when you were just born?” Sam started nodding wildly, a wide grin on his face. It was one of his favorite stories, because that meant the angels gave him Gabe to watch over him. His Momma always told them that the angels in heaven choose people to keep each other happy and Gabe didn’t even know him when he choose him. It made him happy. 

He beamed as his nodding slowed before he giggled, “Yeah! Well I think that just like the angels had a plan when they needed Momma, they have a plan for you too.” His giggling slowed and became quiet as he scooted closer on his knees at the same time that Gabriel mimicked his movements, clearly humoring the smaller child. In an exaggerated hand gesture Sam leaned forward and whispered, “Maybe the angels want us to get married, Gabe.” 

A slowly exhaled laugh escaped Gabriel’s lips as he set a hand on the top of Sam’s head before laying back again. “I don’t think that’s what the angels want, Sammy.” He stated slowly, closing his eyes sadly. “Things are just bad right now an-” He was cut off as Sam flopped down across his belly, arms outstretched in front of him and a pout on his face. Gabriel laughed and shook his head as he tried to manually move the now dead weight atop him. “Okay, okay, get up ya goof.” Sam grinned but continued to lay there.  
“Common Gabe! It’ll be fun! Me and you forever!” His exaggerated movements died instantly as he flopped, “We’re best friends for a reason Gabe.” He turned his head slowly and smiled as he rolled himself off, an exasperated ‘oof’ coming out of Gabriel, but the blond was smiling anyway. Sam laid down on the sleeping bag again and copied Gabriel’s seemingly relaxed pose and they both fell into a comfortable silence. 

Slowly Sam started to nod off again and Gabriel just smiled fondly, pulling the soft blanket up around his shoulders. Hazy hazel eyes opened just slightly as he smiled back with a yawn. Then quieter still, “C’mon Gabriel… the angels think we’d be awesome-” He broke off to yawn again, “-together.” Gabriel laughed softly, eyes crinkling at the corners as he stared at the plexi ceiling. 

“Yeah kiddo. If that’s what you want.” Gabriel’s eyes slipped closed and he vaguely heard Sam let out a happy laugh. Then there were hands tugging his sleeve. Cracking open one eye he looked over at the smaller boy with a raised eyebrow. “Yes?”

“Gotta do it right, Gabe!” Sam said sleepily, “Do you wanna make the angels happy and marry me?” And Gabriel smiled and laughed out a soft ‘sure’ before they both feel back into silence, Sam only dropping one hand, the other tightly grasping his friend’s.

**Author's Note:**

> Art for this fic will be posted on my tumblr here: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/inspirationmeltdown 
> 
> There's already a few pieces there for future chapters. All are tagged 'Marry me'


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